1
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:31,965
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen...

2
00:00:31,998 --> 00:00:33,366
   and welcome to Hollywood.

3
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:38,905
I think everyone enjoys
a nice murder...

4
00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:41,641
 provided he is not the victim.

5
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:45,845
 Tonight's little comedy
 of bad manners is concerned...

6
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,748
with that dream
of all of us who harbor
homicidal tendencies:

7
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:51,785
  The perfect murder.

8
00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:55,622
 Of course,
 to be serious for a moment...

9
00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:58,391
 there is no such thing
 as a nice murder...

10
00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:00,460
  or a perfect murder.

11
00:01:00,493 --> 00:01:03,063
 It is always a sordid,
 despicable business.

12
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,332
Especially if you don't
have a good lawyer.

13
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:28,722
  <i>(Henri)</i>
  <i>We had gathered to hear the</i>
  <i>lawyer read my uncle's will.</i>

14
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,257
 <i>Ernestine was present.</i>

15
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,960
   <i>She had cooked</i>
   <i>for my aunt and uncle</i>
   <i>as long as I can remember.</i>

16
00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:37,664
  <i>There was my wife, Marie...</i>

17
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,102
 <i>and myself...</i>

18
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:44,371
  <i>my brother, Paul...</i>

19
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:50,110
  <i>and there was Aunt Rosalie.</i>

20
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:54,414
   "I leave my entire estate
   to my dear and devoted wife,
   Rosalie Tallendier.

21
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:58,918
  "She knows my wishes
concerning certain bequests
  I wish to make to our church.

22
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:03,356
   "To the convent of St. Anne,
   I bequeath the sum
   of 3,000 francs.

23
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,925
"And to my cook, Ernestine,
I give 1,000 francs.

24
00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:11,464
"Upon the death of my wife,
the income from my estate
shall be...."

25
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:13,066
  [lawyer coughing]

26
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,201
   Excuse me.

27
00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:25,578
  "...the income from my estate
  shall be divided equally
  between my two nephews...

28
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,947
   "Paul and Henri Tallendier."

29
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:29,749
[parrot squawks]

30
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,484
(parrot)
How's that, pretty lady?

31
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:32,752
  Be quiet, you pest.

32
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:38,191
[caws]

33
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:46,866
 We're gonna be rich.
 Don't you understand, Henri?
 Rich.

34
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,637
  How much do you think
  we shall have?

35
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,739
 50,000 francs at least.
 Apiece?

36
00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:54,107
 Of course, apiece.

37
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:56,142
  Uncle Jean had that much?

38
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,545
 That tight-fisted old pig
 saved every penny.

39
00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:00,447
  Paul.

40
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,550
 Why do you say "Paul"?
 You oughtn't to speak
 of the dead like that.

41
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:06,286
 Forgive me. I forgot you had
 such delicate feelings.

42
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,788
It was very kind of him
to remember us at all.

43
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,857
   After all,
   we weren't very good
to the old man.

44
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:13,893
 You depress me.
 This is a time for rejoicing.

45
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:17,464
 When the old lady dies,
 it will all be ours,
 don't you understand?

46
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:18,732
  Yours and mine.

47
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,334
 Too late for me, Paul.

48
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:24,637
 Now what does that mean?
 I'm at the end of my rope.

49
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:27,374
  We're swamped with bills,
  Marie and I.
  We owe everybody.

50
00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:29,809
  Our creditors won't wait.
  Yesterday the landlord said--

51
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:32,145
 You want to borrow money
 again, is that it?

52
00:03:32,178 --> 00:03:35,181
   Well, you have
   only yourself to look after.

53
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,083
  I've got my wife,
four little ones.

54
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,252
 Portrait of
 the happy married man.

55
00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:42,422
 Well, here's 50 francs,
 and that's all.

56
00:03:42,455 --> 00:03:44,824
 I'm down to
 my last sou myself.
 Don't ask me again.

57
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,259
   Thank you, Paul.

58
00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:49,896
 Don't worry. I'll get it back
 when you get your inheritance.

59
00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:52,565
 Why don't we drink
 to our Aunt Rosalie?

60
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:54,267
 To wish the dear old lady...

61
00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:58,238
 Godspeed into the next world.

62
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:03,743
 You don't drink to that?

63
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,111
   No, I don't.

64
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,814
  [chuckles]

65
00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:14,854
   Yes, yes, yes.

66
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:18,792
  I've heard the same story
  for as long
  as I've known you.

67
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:20,360
What do you do
   with all your money?

68
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,128
 My job doesn't pay enough.

69
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:24,364
  Get another.
 I've tried.

70
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:27,067
You're lazy.
 I work from morning
 till night.

71
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:29,269
 There are four little ones
 at home.

72
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:32,072
  That's none of my affair.
  That's all I have
  to say to you.

73
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:35,175
  Aunt Rosalie, I only want
  to borrow a little money,
  on my inheritance.

74
00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:38,211
Your inheritance.
So that's it.

75
00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:42,282
 You wish me dead.
   No, no.

76
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:45,251
   You dream of me
   lying in my coffin.
   I can see it in your eyes.

77
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,986
You're just waiting.

78
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:50,557
  Well, you will have
  a long time waiting, nephew.

79
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:54,094
  You're heartless,
  Aunt Rosalie.
 But strong as an ox.

80
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:57,397
  I shall outlive
  both my nephews.
  I am determined to do that.

81
00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:59,232
   (Rosalie)
   And the convent
   will get my money.

82
00:04:59,265 --> 00:05:01,101
 Not you, nor your wife
 nor your children.

83
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,303
   Now, get out. Do you hear?

84
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,040
What a coincidence.
You, too.

85
00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:11,378
 Am I to be plagued
 to my grave
 by both of you?

86
00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:13,747
 I just came to see
 how you were feeling,
 Aunt Rosalie.

87
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,048
As if you care.

88
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:17,050
 Well,
 I have a mild interest.

89
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,052
  My life
  doesn't interest you.

90
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:21,855
  But my death.
  That is worth
  a fortune to you.

91
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:23,289
That interests you.

92
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:29,596
 My dear aunt,
 you're a hard one.

93
00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:32,499
   And you, dear nephew,
   are so tender-hearted.

94
00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:34,834
  That's right.
  That makes two of a kind.

95
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,304
 That's better.
 We understand one another.

96
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,975
 As for my health--
   Yes?

97
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,977
 It's excellent,
 unfortunately for you.

98
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:48,081
 Now what do you want?
 Money?

99
00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:49,783
  I've got plenty of money,
  thank you.

100
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:51,418
What a liar you are.

101
00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:54,287
 You probably haven't more
 than two sous in your pocket
 right now.

102
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,256
Less.
 How's that, pretty lady?
 How's that?

103
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,692
   Be quiet,
   you silly bird.

104
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,029
   How do you live?

105
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:06,466
 Why don't you get a job?
I can't keep a job.

106
00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:08,902
 Well, you'll get no sympathy
 from me. Good day.

107
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,372
 I'm not very well.

108
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:15,308
 My dizziness
 keeps coming back.
 That's why I can't keep a job.

109
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:16,776
 What dizziness?

110
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,678
The doctor calls it
anemia.

111
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,615
 You gad about too much
 and don't eat enough.

112
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,417
I ought to have someone
to look after me.

113
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:26,653
(Rosalie)
Maybe so.

114
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:29,689
  But you've come
  to the wrong house.
  Now you get out, too.

115
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:33,893
 Very well.

116
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:36,363
   [groans]

117
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,231
Aunt Rosalie.

118
00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:39,899
What's the matter with you?

119
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:42,936
 Ernestine.

120
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,337
Ernestine!

121
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,741
 <i>Mon Dieu,</i>is he dead?

122
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:49,676
 Turn him over, idiot,
 turn him over.

123
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:55,081
   Poor boy. How pale he looks.
   I'll get Dr. Poncet.

124
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,750
 Never mind.

125
00:06:56,783 --> 00:07:00,220
  It's only a dizzy spell.
  It'll pass.

126
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,756
 Loosen his collar
 and let him rest there.

127
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:04,891
 [scoffs]

128
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,659
The scoundrel's grown thin.

129
00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:12,465
Poor boy, <i>madame.</i>
He needs looking after.

130
00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:15,902
  <i>Madame,</i>if he were here
  in the house,
  you could look after him.

131
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,404
  After all,
  he's your nephew.

132
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,372
 (Rosalie)
 If you've nothing
 brighter to say...

133
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:21,207
 go back to your pots and pans.

134
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:24,944
   But, <i>madame,</i>
   if <i>Monsieur</i>Paul were here,
   you'd have company.

135
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:28,048
 You wouldn't be so lonely.

136
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,751
 Who knows?
 Perhaps that's true.

137
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,923
 Well, there's no harm
 in letting him
 stay the night, anyway.

138
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,392
Give him a good dinner.
 Yes, I'll do that.

139
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:42,696
<i>(Henri)</i>
<i>Paul remained with</i>
<i>Aunt Rosalie for weeks.</i>

140
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,198
  <i>She seemed to enjoy</i>
  <i>his company.</i>

141
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:47,600
   <i>She even seemed delighted</i>
   <i>by his audacity.</i>

142
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,070
<i>And the weeks stretched</i>
<i>into months.</i>

143
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,472
  <i>He had nothing</i>
  <i>to worry about now.</i>

144
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:54,374
 <i>He was taken care of.</i>

145
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:55,675
 <i>He could wait.</i>

146
00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,245
  [exclaims]

147
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,014
  Good morning,
  my little pudding.

148
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:03,483
 <i>Monsieur</i>Paul,
it's a lovely day.

149
00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:06,653
   Where is my aunt?
She's in the garden
with Dr. Poncet.

150
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,688
 She's sunning herself.

151
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:11,157
   She certainly takes
   good care of herself,
   doesn't she?

152
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:13,193
  And that pleases you,
  I know.

153
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:14,561
Immensely.

154
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:18,031
That looks good.

155
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:21,434
Mmm. By the way,
what are we having
for dinner tonight?

156
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:23,169
 What does
 your heart desire?

157
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:24,571
  Well...

158
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:28,808
 It's such a pleasure
 to be able to cook
 with enthusiasm again.

159
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:32,145
  My talents are wasted
  on your aunt's
  meager diet.

160
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:39,886
 Always the same.
Fish or soufflé,
 day after day.

161
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:43,923
   Fish Tuesdays, Thursdays,
   and Saturdays. Eggs Mondays,
   Wednesdays, and Fridays.

162
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:48,228
 [both exclaim]

163
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,263
What do I care?

164
00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:54,334
 I eat so well,
 I should think my Aunt Rosalie
 would die of envy...

165
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,435
   if nothing else.

166
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:56,936
  [chuckles]

167
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,905
 Well, I look forward
 to luncheon.

168
00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:08,048
  Remarkable. The pulse
  of a girl of 20.

169
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:13,486
I think, your nephew has
an excellent effect on your
health, <i>Madame</i>Tallendier.

170
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,689
 He's a rascal.

171
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,724
 And I don't trust him
from here to there.

172
00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:20,560
 Besides, he eats me
 out of house and home.

173
00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:22,629
 But he plays
 a good game of dominoes.

174
00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:25,865
  Good morning, Dr. Poncet.
  Good morning, Aunt Rosalie.

175
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,034
Don't we look wonderful
this morning.

176
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:31,571
 Liar. I ache and creak
 in every bone.

177
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:33,173
 Here, here.
 What have we here?

178
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,042
Cover up, cover up.

179
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:38,044
  Now there's a devoted nephew
  for you.

180
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,746
   We got to keep you
   nice and cozy, don't we?

181
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,147
Stop fussing.

182
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,483
But he obviously likes
taking care of you.

183
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:47,120
 You just run along,
Dr. Poncet.
   Very well.

184
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:49,055
   Goodbye, <i>Madame</i>Tallendier.
Goodbye.

185
00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:50,890
 Goodbye, Paul.
 Goodbye, Dr. Poncet.

186
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,060
[birds chirping]

187
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,830
 He thinks I'm going to
 leave him something
 when I die.

188
00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:58,465
 But I won't. Not a cent.

189
00:09:58,498 --> 00:09:59,833
  [chuckles]

190
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:02,469
 You're a mean old buzzard,
 aren't you?

191
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:06,639
 And you? You're just a vulture
 waiting to close in.
 You don't fool me.

192
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:10,310
 Well, we'll go
 for a little walk.
 Come, haul me up.

193
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,480
  [exclaims]

194
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:16,316
   What if I were
   to let you fall now?
 What do you mean?

195
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,718
You'd fall now
  and crack your skull,
  wouldn't you?

196
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,253
 Pull me up, Paul!
 Pull me up.

197
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:23,356
 Stop playing, Paul.
 I'm slipping!

198
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:26,426
 I wouldn't let you go
 for anything in the world,
 don't you know that?

199
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,227
  [panting]

200
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,663
 What a rascal you are.

201
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:48,748
 Henri.

202
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:53,753
What on earth are you doing
in this house at this hour?

203
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,755
 I need money, I'm desperate.

204
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,390
 I'm going to pawn
 this silver frame.

205
00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:58,925
  How dare you?

206
00:10:58,958 --> 00:11:01,561
 Have you forgotten
 that I'm a guest here?

207
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,863
 What fine sentiments
you've developed, brother.

208
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,932
 You can afford them,
 now you're eating well.

209
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:07,367
  Now listen to me.

210
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,269
  Unless the laws of nature
  have been repealed...

211
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,071
 she can't go on
 like this much longer,
 now, can she?

212
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,173
 She seems to be.
 Will you listen to reason?

213
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,075
 Only today, she complained
 of a pain in the back.

214
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,443
 Paul, I cannot wait
 any longer.

215
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,345
What do you want me
to do? Kill her?

216
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,753
I don't deny that I haven't
thought of it before.

217
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,389
 I get so bored
 in this house.

218
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:32,192
  Waiting, waiting.

219
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,993
And she gets healthier
 every day.

220
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,829
 I'm feel like I'm trapped.

221
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,364
 Man has the right
 to help nature along.

222
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,532
 I mean if it gets stubborn,
 don't you think?

223
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:41,601
  What do you mean?
 Away with all obstacles.
 Let life move on.

224
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:42,669
[shushes]

225
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:46,539
 I'm only saying
 she's had enough.

226
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:49,109
 It's our turn now.
Yes.

227
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,945
 This is no place to talk.

228
00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:54,280
 Now if you can scrape
 together a few sous...

229
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:57,384
 we can meet tomorrow morning
 at the Cafe Marais
 and talk things over.

230
00:11:57,417 --> 00:12:00,353
 I'll manage.
 Let's say
tomorrow morning at 11:00.

231
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,388
 At 11:00.

232
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:05,325
 Henri,
 just smell that honeysuckle.

233
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,762
 Look. There's a blossom.

234
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:13,767
It's withered.

235
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:20,306
 I despise decaying things,
 don't you?

236
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,810
  [crickets chirping]

237
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:25,078
   Good night, Henri.

238
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:42,462
  Paul, we are here
  to talk serious business.

239
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,397
   Don't ruffle
   your feathers.

240
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:47,100
 Just being in a cafe again
 gives me hope.

241
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,968
 Now what dreary subject
 were we talking about?

242
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,603
 Oh, yes.
 My indestructible aunt.

243
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:56,476
 There goes that delightful
 Mademoiselle de Chenier.

244
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,281
Paul. Paul.

245
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:06,152
How are we going to get rid
of Aunt Rosalie?

246
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:09,055
 With dispatch.
   Yes. But, by what means?

247
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:11,658
 Well, there are
 all sorts of methods.
 The open window, for example.

248
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,093
  Push her out?

249
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,595
 How crude you are. No.

250
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,930
   A cold draft...

251
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:21,301
 properly placed
 when a person's sleeping
 can do wonders.

252
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,269
 All sorts of lovely
 complications can develop...

253
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,171
 like influenza, pneumonia.

254
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:27,073
  Yes.
  That's an excellent idea.

255
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:28,942
 But she might recover.

256
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,379
 Doctors are very efficient
 these days.
It's most annoying.

257
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:36,116
 Suppose Aunt Rosalie
 were to slip
 and break her neck.

258
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:39,319
 Just a little.
 A fall down the stairs,
 doesn't that appeal to you?

259
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,789
  I don't know.

260
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,692
 But, you know,
 she might regain consciousness
 and tell.

261
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:48,094
 That wouldn't do, would it?
 We can't have--

262
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:49,896
Be quiet, Paul!

263
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:51,498
 Come on,
 let's get out of here.

264
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,738
 The best approach
 may be the gastronomical one.

265
00:13:58,772 --> 00:14:00,140
   How do you mean?

266
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:03,276
 The way to our heart's desire
 may be through
 Aunt Rosalie's stomach.

267
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,047
You mean
to poison her food?

268
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:09,049
 You talk like
 some medieval murderer.

269
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,051
 But that is what you meant.
 I know it is.

270
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,119
  Poison, who said anything
  about poison?
  I didn't, did I?

271
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,054
No.

272
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,189
  Ground glass.

273
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,293
Finely ground, to a powder.

274
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:26,066
 You don't have to use
 Baccarat, any ordinary
 wine glass would do.

275
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,702
Now, sometime this morning,
when your wife is out--

276
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:29,502
  [gasps]

277
00:14:30,804 --> 00:14:33,073
 I am to do this?

278
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:34,941
  Brother, you must
  contribute something.

279
00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:38,078
   This is a mutual enterprise,
   for the benefit of us both.

280
00:14:38,812 --> 00:14:41,948
Paul, I'm frightened.

281
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:44,517
   Now, Henri,
   you run along and commit
   your little deed...

282
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,319
  and I shall be
  waiting for you here.

283
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:50,190
   Well, hurry.

284
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:57,230
  Henri. Finely ground.

285
00:14:58,965 --> 00:14:59,899
   Peppery.

286
00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:31,398
 This is the life
 I was born to lead.

287
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,768
I feel it in my bones.
I read it in the stars.

288
00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:37,070
 No, my good man.
 Leave the bottle here.
   Oh, no.

289
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,572
My aunt will pay for it
in her good time.

290
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,075
Not that she has much time.

291
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,779
Henri, my dear brother.
Come.

292
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:48,915
   Let us celebrate our future.
   Rejoice, rejoice.

293
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,418
Paul, you're drunk.

294
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,253
   You idiot, you're frightened
   of your own shadow.

295
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,954
 All right, all right,
 but look.

296
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:57,157
 The ingredient.

297
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,261
The ingredient?
 The ingredient.

298
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,163
 With which
 to season the soufflé.

299
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:09,202
Yes. Last night
she had fish.

300
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:11,037
 Tonight,
 she'll have soufflé...

301
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,873
with this added ingredient.

302
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:17,577
It will be an ambrosia,
fit for the angels.

303
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,813
  And when
  Aunt Rosalie tastes it...

304
00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:23,049
 she'll become one of them.

305
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,421
 For heaven's sake,
 Paul, be quiet!
 Quiet.

306
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:33,460
 I will not, of course,
be home for dinner.

307
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,296
  At breakfast,
  or possibly before...

308
00:16:37,731 --> 00:16:39,099
   Ernestine...

309
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:42,869
 will bring me
 the good news.

310
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:44,904
 You'll let me know
 at once.

311
00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:47,140
 At once.
 Let you know what?

312
00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:49,843
 That everything
 has gone well.

313
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,380
 I'll telephone you here...

314
00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:57,317
   tomorrow morning
   at 10 o'clock.

315
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:00,020
 Thank you, Paul.

316
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,790
   And for your help...

317
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:06,793
  I thank you.

318
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:14,134
 Have you seen my nephew?

319
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,436
Perhaps he went
for a walk.

320
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:19,205
 To work up an appetite
 for lunch, you mean?

321
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:20,540
   He ordered duck.

322
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:24,044
 What has his majesty
commanded for dinner?

323
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,247
He won't be here
for dinner tonight.

324
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:32,052
  He has to see someone
  about a job.

325
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,420
   Which he is certain
   not to get.

326
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,089
 <i>Madame...</i>

327
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:39,125
  tonight, you will have
  to eat your dinner alone,
  as in the old days.

328
00:17:40,694 --> 00:17:43,930
  But for lunch,
  I want you
  to be very jolly.

329
00:17:43,963 --> 00:17:48,268
  I have a nice bottle of wine.
 He'll guzzle it down,
 that oaf.

330
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:52,572
  But, <i>madame,</i>you must admit,
  it's been lively since
  <i>Monsieur</i>Paul came here.

331
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:55,075
  And you, look at you,
you're blooming.

332
00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:57,510
 Blooming.
 Like the century plant.

333
00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,612
And that dress.

334
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:03,416
You haven't worn that dress
since the wedding of
the mayor's daughter.

335
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:06,252
 Why shouldn't I wear it?
 The mourning period's over.

336
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,521
 I'm sure he'll like you
 in that dress, too, <i>madame.</i>

337
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:11,891
   You're a fool, Ernestine.

338
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,395
 Perhaps I am one, too.

339
00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:22,335
 No more, Paul, no more.
Come now,
wine is good for the blood.

340
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:25,038
 Dr. Poncet said
 only half a glass.

341
00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:27,874
 I'm dizzy.
 It won't hurt you. Please.

342
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:32,045
 Well, just a little,
this makes my third,
 or is it my fourth glass?

343
00:18:32,045 --> 00:18:33,279
 Two, my dear, two.

344
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,849
 Well, then pour on.

345
00:18:38,051 --> 00:18:40,053
   You know,
   there'll be a surprise
   for your dinner tonight.

346
00:18:40,053 --> 00:18:42,489
 A surprise? What is it?

347
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:45,158
 It has a new name.
 It's called
 <i>"Soufflé à la glace."</i>

348
00:18:45,859 --> 00:18:47,460
 <i>Soufflé à la glace.</i>

349
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:54,934
 Will it taste any different
 with a new name?
No, I'm afraid not.

350
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,604
 That same old egg dish,
 you mean.

351
00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,507
  I wouldn't dream of upsetting
  the Queen's menu?

352
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:01,775
[parrot squawks]

353
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,143
(parrot)
How's that, pretty lady?

354
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:04,277
   [parrot whistles]

355
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,517
 I think I'll go
 and take a nap.

356
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,356
 (parrot)
 Hold fast, old girl.
 Hold fast.

357
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:17,390
   [gasps]

358
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:22,529
 Sweet dreams, my love.

359
00:19:25,065 --> 00:19:26,466
   My love.

360
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:43,550
 So, it's you, all spruced up,
 and your poor aunt sick.

361
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:47,153
 You were very naughty
 giving her so much wine.

362
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:50,290
   She'll survive the wine.
   Nothing like that
   would kill her.

363
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:52,459
   (Rosalie)
   Ernestine!

364
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:54,894
 (Rosalie)
 Ernestine! My smelling salts.

365
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:57,931
   I'm coming.

366
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:29,896
   [groaning]

367
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:33,533
Now you know Dr. Poncet
wouldn't approve of
your drinking so much wine.

368
00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:35,902
   Get out.

369
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,072
 [groans]

370
00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:41,441
 Look at you,
 fit as a fiddle.

371
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:43,510
 I feel terrible.

372
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:45,412
   [groans]

373
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:49,983
  It will pass.
  Soon you'll feel nothing.

374
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:52,752
I'm sorry that you have
to have dinner alone.

375
00:20:52,786 --> 00:20:54,087
 Run along, run along.

376
00:20:56,189 --> 00:20:57,957
 I'll see you tomorrow.

377
00:20:58,725 --> 00:20:59,926
  [grunts]

378
00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:01,628
   Goodbye...

379
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:06,166
Aunt Rosalie.

380
00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:12,305
   [groans]

381
00:21:14,908 --> 00:21:17,177
 <i>(Henri)</i>
 <i>How can I describe</i>
 <i>that agony of waiting?</i>

382
00:21:18,078 --> 00:21:20,647
 <i>I thought I'd go mad.</i>

383
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:24,384
   <i>Paul said he would</i>
<i>telephone me at 10:00</i>
   <i>to give me the good news.</i>

384
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:27,487
 <i>Ten o'clock came and it went,</i>
 <i>and 11 o'clock.</i>

385
00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:30,090
<i>By noon, I was frantic.</i>

386
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:33,126
 <i>But then suddenly....</i>

387
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:34,527
  Telephone, <i>monsieur.</i>

388
00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:40,400
   Hello? Yes, yes.

389
00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:47,273
 What?

390
00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:54,481
 Yes, I'll be there right away.

391
00:21:56,549 --> 00:21:57,884
  Yes. Immediately.

392
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,355
 How can I explain it to you?

393
00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:06,960
 Yesterday, your aunt
 was ill all afternoon.

394
00:22:07,961 --> 00:22:10,663
  She had drunk too much wine.

395
00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:15,068
 Well, at dinner time,
 I said that
 it was an egg night.

396
00:22:15,068 --> 00:22:18,304
She flew into a rage,
 she insisted that
 it was a fish night.

397
00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:23,076
 I had to put
 the egg mixture away.

398
00:22:23,076 --> 00:22:27,480
  Naturally,
  I couldn't waste it.
  I never throw out anything.

399
00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:30,950
 It was no use
 to argue with her,
 so I fried her a little fish.

400
00:22:30,984 --> 00:22:34,087
 Isn't that so, <i>madame?</i>

401
00:22:34,087 --> 00:22:37,157
   I shouldn't have drunk
   all that wine,
   but the dear boy insisted.

402
00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:40,193
 (Ernestine)
 After her dinner,
 <i>madame</i>went straight to bed.

403
00:22:40,226 --> 00:22:42,896
  We didn't hear
 <i>Monsieur</i>Paul come in at all.

404
00:22:42,929 --> 00:22:46,833
 In the morning,
she whipped up those eggs
 into an omelet for him.

405
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:48,501
 I was still upstairs in bed.

406
00:22:48,535 --> 00:22:51,705
 He ate heartily,
 he always did.

407
00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:53,973
 But in a little while--
Don't tell me any more.

408
00:22:54,007 --> 00:22:55,975
 He died in agony, poor dear.

409
00:22:57,844 --> 00:23:01,648
 His last words were
 <i>"omelette à la glace."</i>
 It was a joke we had.

410
00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:06,119
 Paul did complain
 of dizzy spells...

411
00:23:06,152 --> 00:23:08,888
 but I never
 took it seriously.

412
00:23:08,922 --> 00:23:12,525
 We're waiting
 for Dr. Poncet to tell us
 the exact cause of death.

413
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:17,097
 You are my sole heir now,
 Henri.

414
00:23:17,130 --> 00:23:18,865
 Everything will go to you.

415
00:23:20,633 --> 00:23:25,538
You're all the family
 I have left. We must try
 to be closer, Henri.

416
00:23:25,572 --> 00:23:28,575
 This must have been
 a terrible shock for you.
 You look quite worn out.

417
00:23:28,608 --> 00:23:30,944
 Ernestine, get the dear boy
 something to eat.

418
00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:34,314
Something light,
an omelet, perhaps.

419
00:23:36,216 --> 00:23:38,084
No! No!

420
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:42,455
 I always said
 he was an odd one.

421
00:23:44,290 --> 00:23:45,992
   So different
   from his dear brother.

422
00:23:59,472 --> 00:24:02,942
  As for the eventual outcome
  of tonight's crime...

423
00:24:03,043 --> 00:24:05,478
 the case
 was later re-opened...

424
00:24:05,512 --> 00:24:10,450
  and Henri, arrested
  and convicted of violating
The Pure Food and Drug Act.

425
00:24:10,483 --> 00:24:13,953
  He had used
  an inferior grade of glass.

426
00:24:14,054 --> 00:24:17,057
  We shall have
  our next performance
  of another play...

427
00:24:17,057 --> 00:24:19,059
 one week from tonight.

428
00:24:21,127 --> 00:24:26,066
Oh, yes. Normally,
I detest sentimentality.

429
00:24:26,066 --> 00:24:28,835
But I must leave you
with this little thought
for the day:

430
00:24:30,170 --> 00:24:32,472
  Never turn your back
  on a friend.

431
00:24:33,340 --> 00:24:34,908
  Good night.